Why do people classify babies as “gifts” and possessions, and not individual unique souls?
I don’t understand women who call their babies “gifts”. They have a unique DNA sequence just like grown folks, and they are just little folks in training. They are not a possession, they are little ones we have to guide through life since we either brought them here, or adopted them. Why do people refer to babies this way? Like they are a puppy or a kitten or a chupacabra, or something?
baby latina> Actually, you smal minded ingrate, I have TWO children. I guess I’m a bad mother because I do not refer to my kids as possessions like they are some toy poodle or something. Expand your feeble mind a little bit. People think different things.
my bad, that should read “small”.
Cookies-n-cream> Yada yada yah. If thinking (utilizing my brain to process ideas, hypotheses, and variables in life and situations) makes me go against the “grain” then so be it. I am honored to go against insane mainstream thought. It’s one of my goals in life. Thank you.
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10 comments
Baby_latina on April 28, 2010 at 3:46 pm
Obviously you’ve never had children.
angelbaby on April 28, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I think “gift” is just another way to describe a blessing, and that’s what some people feel a baby is. Something precious that is very enjoyable and dear. As for possession, I think sometimes (not in all cases, though, I understand) a baby is thought of that way because like anything else a person has, it is our responsibilty to take care of. Babies are definitely individual unique souls, but as babies they are unable to take care of themselves, obviously, so like I said, sometimes it’s more of a responsibility thing, not so much an “I own a baby” thing.
katct on April 28, 2010 at 4:55 pm
Good question! People have been having babies for ages, it’s the cycle of nature and the most natural thing in the world and really not all that “miraculous” at all. WE were designed, just like all other creatures, to multiply and carry on the species.
I can see it called a gift or a blessing for someone that has a real hard time trying to have a baby I guess..but certainly not created by some miracle or gift from “god”.
Michelle F on April 28, 2010 at 5:35 pm
When moms talk about their babies as a gift they mean a gift from God. They are bless with a wounderful life from God. they don’t mean that it is not an individual, just that God has blesses them with a life to love. It is God’s gift to parents to have a baby and individual to love and raise.
Powerful_Turtle on April 28, 2010 at 5:49 pm
First off, I am the mother of four and I completely agree with you. I’ve never felt comfortable calling children “gifts” either because to me a gift is a thing not a person. I prefer to say that “children are a blessing.”
I once read an argument that we shouldn’t say “my children” or “her children” because that makes them sounds like they are possessions. Unfortunately, in our English langusge there’s no good substitute.
experiencedmotherof4 on April 28, 2010 at 6:19 pm
Because they have no other way to classify this wonderful, terrifying, so many other things, thing that has happened to them. The way that our society reveres children is unheard of in history. In the 1400’s children weren’t even considered to have a soul until they reached their majority (usually 18) because so many of them died on a regular basis. It was pretty common for a woman to have about 10 kids and end up with one or two who reached adult. This may be where the “gift” part comes in in the female psyche, because I’ve never heard a man say that, unless it was disparagingly, Like “yeah, a real gift, the shitty kind! ha ha ha.”
anwiltx on April 28, 2010 at 6:56 pm
I think it’s because a gift from God can be anything. God gives us many blessings and a lot of them aren’t even tangible. Like, hope, prayer, peace… I see my son as a gift because God chose me to be a parent (we tried for three years before conceiving) and I am grateful to God for allowing me the pleasure of being a Mom. It is by His grace alone that I became pregnant and my dreams of becoming a mother came true.
I just think you are reading way too much into the word “gift”.
Pearlz on April 28, 2010 at 7:12 pm
because when someone has a child, they feel like they were gifted, considering all those people that can’t have children. and with everything going wrong in their life, they look at their kids and think at least something went right.
and also your child is the only thing that matters in the world b/c it’s the only thing that you can really say is yours and NO ONE can take that away from you. when anything other than your children CAN be taken way like repo’d and going homeless, you will always have your kids.
but now these days they have CPS and can do anything. i just feel like the government is just trying to find ways to control us by living in fear… think about it. and that’s how most of us were raised or disciplined for fear of being spanked or grounded.
cookies_n_cream0218 on April 28, 2010 at 7:35 pm
even though my daughter is not a possession, she is a gift. You can call me small minded an ingrate, or whatever, but having concieved my daughter, carried her for 8 months (she was premature) and birthing her does make her mine. She is an individual, but she is my individual. My possessiveness comes with love, compassion, and protectiveness…as she grows I will loosen my grip. Maybe you should open your eyes a little and think differently about your children…you are trying to go against the grain..ALL children are GIFTS!
professional_mother on April 28, 2010 at 8:14 pm
Not everyone who calls their baby a “gift” necessarily considers the baby a possession. It can also be shorthand for “I received the gift of being allowed to raise this unique human being.”
That said, there *are* people who consider their kids possessions. It is a sad fact, but true. And there’s not much that you (or anyone else) can do to change it.